Victims of L-O-V-E

From the Bottom of my heart........!!

• Fazal says;

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a government... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

"The best philosophy is to do one's duties, to take the world as it comes, submit respectfully to one's lot, and bless the goodness that has given us so much happiness with it, whatever it is." finally he said to all his fellow friends, "If you want to succeed and prepare to do so, you WILL achieve your dreams."

He dedicated this poem to his loved one:

This is dedicated to the one I love.
With all my love I tell you this
I can't live one minute of my life without you.
Throughout the tough times
And all of our fights my heart aches
But I still love you
And this is why I dedicate this to the one I love....

Every day I live my life thinking
About how to love you
And let you know how much I do love you
All I do is think
About is how I fallen in love with
And I can't help thinking
Of what the future might be holding for us
So, this is why I dedicate this to the one I love...

• Thoughts from London by Irshad;

Successful men usually snatch success from seeming failure. If they know there is such a word as defeat, they will not admit it. They may be whipped, but they are not aware of it. That is why they succeed.
And also he added, Be of good cheer. Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that come tomorrow.

You have set yourselves a difficult task, but you will succeed if
you persevere; and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles.

He Explains about how to overcome against the past failures:

The past is something we should use to guide our future, not something that should control or direct it. When we allow our past to dictate what we do now, we are no longer in control of our person. Instead, it is our past that is in control. Unfortunately, many people are not aware that this is what is going on. They know the past is affecting them, but they are not aware to what degree or how it is changing them as a person and their outlook on life. How many times have you heard a person say they don't want to get involved because they don't want to get hurt again? While this seems like a reasonable outlook after dealing with such a "controlling, abusive, lying, or cheating" partner, it is really just a crutch. When a person compares everyone in their future with the people of their past who have hurt them, they are voluntarily letting them control their future as well. They are still attached to them in a way that is even worse than when they were together. Because now, it is isn't even a real person who controls them, but a shadow.

As they say, "Knowing is only half the battle." The other half is learning how to release your shadows. If you've found that you are unable to find a true commitment with someone, it is more than likely because you have a few shadows lurking around. The first step to releasing them is to find them. To do this you need to get in touch with yourself. Start a regime of a daily walking and journal writing. Both of these things are extremely important to achieving a complete recovery and should be done while alone; not in the company of other people! This is a time for personal discovery. You can't discover yourself when someone else is chatting in your ear. If you're wondering how in the world can you find time for this with your busy schedule, think again. You only need about 30 minutes each day to complete both exercises. Ten to fifteen minutes for your walk, and fifteen minutes for your journal writing.

While completing these exercises there are a few things to keep in mind. During the walk make sure you focus on the world around you. Take time to notice the flowers blooming, the trees swaying, the color of the houses, etc. The point of your walk is to take the focus off of you and to start paying attention to the things around you.

Your journal writing is the opposite. Here is where you will really delve into your "personal matters of the heart." The important thing to remember about your journal is that there is no right or wrong thing to write. Write whatever comes to mind. Do not show your journal to anyone, and only read what you've written every few months. The material in your journal is not something to read and digest; it is done just to get whatever it is you're feeling out in the open.

After even just a few days of doing these tasks you will notice an difference in your outlook towards many things, including love.

The next step to releasing your shadows will be to find out why they are there. This isn't figuring out what a person may have done to you, but rather working out why you feel the need to have the shadows there in the first place. Take a few minutes to answer these questions:

1. Can you only love one person?
   
   
2. Is it an equal relationship if only one partner is giving love? How can this negatively affect you?
   
   
3. What have you learned about yourself from your past relationships, starting with the first?
   
   
4. What traits did your last partner have that you would NOT want in a future partner?
   
   
5. What traits did your last partner have that you WOULD want in a future partner?
   
   
6. What things do you wish you had not done to previous romantic partners, starting with the first?
   
   
7. What things do you wish previous romantic partners had not done, starting with the first?
   
   
8. What changes do you feel you can make right now to make you happier?

Now that you have done this, go over it again and add more to each of your answers. Once you have completed that, go over it one more time. Make sure you include anything and everything you can think of. Just remember, don't get sidetracked onto other issues not related to your romantic life.

The last step is to finally, forgive and forget. You can't go forward if you're stuck on someone in the past. Agree that you were a great partner, you did the best you could and if it's not meant to be, then it's just not meant to be. Things work out the way they do for a reason. Sometimes the reasons are not always clear right away. Trust in yourself that the right decisions were made, and know that you don't need anyone else to make you happy. Only you can truly do that!!

What he thinks about love is, 
The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then  doesn't hurt! The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your
environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone. 
We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued
with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck . . . But part of it has got to be
forgiveness and gratefulness. Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting
what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what
you would have wanted had you known.
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for
peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no
happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share.Smile. Hug.
Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on
yourself.  And finally what he wants to say is, Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving;
make every day a holiday and celebrate just living.

• Some interesting memories with Ihlas (Country Manager- Stone n Strings, Sri Lanka)

They bring smiles to our faces, tears to our eyes, and sometimes both at the same time. Losing a loved one is devastating, but we have all been left with a special gift - our memories. They are often the only things we have left after that special person is gone. Though at times they may be painful to think about, with them, our loved ones remain a part of us forever.

" while remembering and paying tribute to your loved one, you may go
through periods of time where your grief will be as fresh as the day
you lost your loved one, and it may again seem to overwhelm you.
Finding activities to do to actively remember can be difficult, but in
the end it will be worth it..."

He Added, When the last scene of my life appeared before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand, and to my surprise I
noticed that many times along the path of my life there was only one set of footprints. And I
noticed that it was at the lowest and saddest times in my life.

He also remembered his childhood hero 'Superman'. Ihlas said " Superman's not brave. You can't
be brave if you're indestructible. It's every day people, like you and me, that are brave
knowing we could easily be defeated but still continue forward ".

He also said his vision of life is.. "Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch
which I am permitted to hold for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as
possible before handing it on to future generations.
In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to
cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the
wind-in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved. No man is so poor as not
to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away-and a touch
of wonder remains."
Finally He mentioned "After all these years, I am still involved in the process of self-discovery.
It's better to explore life and make mistakes than to play it safe. Mistakes are part of the dues
one pays for a full life."

These days Ihlas is thinking about taking Professionalism to the next level. In order to this he 
said,  

Much is spoken about behaving professionally. Most people can actively recognise professionalism
or the lack of it in others, but find it extremely difficult to define it, or model it when considering
their own behaviour.

So lets unpick exactly what we mean by professionalism.

Think about the people you respect most because they are the consummate
professional. Can you identify the elements that made them so good?

I've asked this question of so many groups of people and the replies have included the following:

* A good role model for others including, their behaviour, attitude and relationships

* Good Time Keepers - always in before time, uses time well

* Dresses appropriately for the role

* Speaks in a way which is appropriate to each different audience without being patronising
or putting people down.

* Knowledgeable about the job, organization, etc.

*Good with people

*Communicate effectively, whatever the circumstances - actively listens

*Manages their time well

*Works well under pressure

*Fulfils deadlines

*Prioritises effectively - Is prepared to put in the time and effort to
get things done, but also manages to have a reasonable work life balance

*Is accountable and takes responsibility for what they do and say, and for what they leave
undone

Look more deeply into the issue of professionalism and you begin to
realise that professionalism includes all of those strands above but
also so much more.

Those who are thoroughly professional, demonstrate a rounded
personality. They are able to act as a good role model for their
colleagues. They have the ability to take the rough with the smooth,
and are always consistent with others whatever their personal
circumstance or problems may be. They never take their frustrations out
on others.
The experienced professional behaves appropriately in all situations:
They know when it is appropriate to have a laugh over a coffee and when
to behave formally. They are able to run effective meetings. They are
well versed in when to speak out and when to bite their tongue. They do
not feel the need to be seen to be always right or stand on their
dignity. They are prepared to play the long game and wait for time and
experience to prove their point. They do not dodge the issues but
tackle them without aggression or anger. They can always say hand on
heart “I expect high standards from my team and I demonstrate the same
high standards at all times”
Professionals see them    selves as part of the solution rather than the problem.

He ended up by conveying his message to all the young professionals;
If you are keen to succeed in any business you need to demonstrate the appropriate levels
of professionalism. If you want promotion in the future start to demonstrate that you have
the potential to fulfill that role. Just wanting the job, the title, status and financial reward is
simply not enough.
Show your commitment, your ability to come up with the goods, others will begin to notice
and it will hold you in good stead whether you go for an internal promotion or need a
reference for an external promotion.
You will also gain a huge amount of personal satisfaction in knowing you have what it
takes to be a great professional.